The joy of driving a junker
As I fly down the highway in my faded and severely dented 1987 Firefly with music blaring out of the one speaker that works, I find that I am pitying those with glamorous, unscratched vehicles. Their lives would be so much easier if they just understood the joys of driving a junker.
The wonderful thing about having a faded paint job is that you never need to wash it because it looks the same either way. Likewise, when the car is scratched and dented, you never have to worry about your car being "keyed" because you'd probably never notice. Now, those poor souls with their brand new and flawless cars are forced to get out of their car when a shopping cart blocks their way. With my car, I just rev the engine, and push the cart out of the way. I've noticed that all you nice-car owners get very jealous.
When a new paint job is needed, all you poor suckers may spend hundreds of dollars on a great custom job while all I need is a can of spray paint. With the spray paint technique, there is no waiting for your car to come out of the shop.
Repairs on a junky car are usually less frequent and less expensive. Let me explain this often-confused fact that a few new-car owners understand. If a part is not considered "vital" to the actual running of the car, you can either ignore it or get rid of it. Interior problems? Ripped seats? Have no fear, all you need is an old sheet and a roll of duct tape.
Having a stained and ripped interior is a luxury too few people get to experience. For example, if after you stop by McDonald's for the "Large-size" meal, you turn a corner and spill it, your only worries are your clothes and the money spent on the wasted meal. Eating in your car is never a problem. With your beat-up car, you never need to worry about where to put the trash: when you're done, just whip it in back.
The one and only down-side to my car, except the "matchbox car" comments from your friends, is the no-longer-working gas gauge. You just have to rely on instinct, or the simple fact that your car just stops, to know when it is time to fill the tank.
Besides the listed extras, a beat-up car is a lot more fun to drive. They are a lot less hassle than new ones, and much more exciting. My car may not be pretty to look at but it is always an adventure.