SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Female Chat Can Kill You.

I.J. Samson Junior High
St. John's, Newfoundland

By Andrew P. (Grade 9)

My apologies to the ladies who may find this article offensive but I feel that I have to express my point. My point is the way women have their "Girl Chats".

I think we all should stand up to this psychological abuse! Yes, that annoying conversation between your lady friend and her best girl friend! You're sitting there wondering, "Are they ever going to shut up!?" They gab on about the most embarrassing and disgusting topics that would make the most experienced coroner sick!

Well, I must admit that it may seem that I am attacking women but, really I am not. I am just annoyed by the way they converse. I remember one time my mother, my sister, my great aunt (who really isn't that old), and her daughter met each other in the mall over Christmas. They sat down to discuss what they had received for Christmas, what kind of shampoo they were using and various other things that I'm sure many of the youngsters reading this article may be too immature to handle. Once they had finished talking about that nonsense, the topic of leg-shaving came up. Right in the middle of the food court! They were talking so loud I almost died! They were standing up, in the food court, pulling up their pant legs and asking each other to feel the "silky smoothness" that their razor had left behind that same morning. This was going too far! I was so embarrassed because there was a group of gorgeous women standing about two feet away looking at me and probably thinking, "This guy's cute but God he's weird!", because I'm sitting around with a group of old ladies, against my own will, talking about shaving my legs (note to the sick minded: No, I don't shave my legs!) I quickly stood up and protested against this outrage which seemed to do absolutely nothing. They just started pinching my cheeks and said, "Are you embarrassed?", "Oh look, he's blushing!", and somebody actually popped the question (directed at me), "What do you do for razor burn?" Don't get me wrong, I don't find anything wrong with shaving one's legs, or any other body part for that matter, but talking about it in public is an entirely different thing!

Another thing that really yanks my chain is the way females talk to each other about guys and how they're always complaining. Some examples of this belly-aching are: "Don't be talking!" "God, he's soooooo gorgeous." "How come I can't find a guy like that?" "You're so lucky!" And let's not forget, "Look at that tight butt!", which is always followed by a sigh.

Don't get me wrong, I find nothing wrong with a compliment or a little bit of gossip here and there, but this is taking things a bit too far! I mean, how much can a man take, or any one else for that matter? But who can stop them? When I asked my mother if she ever whined or complained, she denied ever doing so - at which time my father supported my belief.

If you found this article very one-sided, as in my reference to females, from a male point of view, TOO BAD! (just joking!). Seriously, though, I apologize for any emotional or mental suffering this article may have caused.

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