Online Love Connections:
Those looking for love on the net
Genre:
NEWS
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about at first
mouse click?
You may be "rolling on the floor laughing" (ROTFL)
right now after reading that but that could just very well be
the new way Romeo finds his Juliet. More and more teens and adults
are logging onto this innovative thing called the information
highway a.k.a. the internet. Some want to meet new friends, some
to keep in touch with old friends, some to check up on the stock
market or sports scores, and yes there are some who are online
to find their true love. Or, at least, a compatible mate to get
to know.
This is the age of great technologies such as cell phones,
two-way pagers, DVDs, and even computers who keep our society
functioning. It's no wonder that we turn to technology to make
our lives easier and better in every aspect - including dating.
Conventional dating may be too frustrating with endless attempts
at trying to find that special someone or the need for variety.
In comes the Internet. Such online dating services have already
cashed in on this growing trend with many singles turning to
the net to find someone who they click with.
Chatrooms are buzzing almost 24/7, even on Friday nights.
That's just one of the hot spots many singles hit to hang out
to find "their significant other". Through private
messages or "PM's" in net lingo, people exchange their
thoughts and get to know each other better. More than just asking
for age/sex/location (a/s/l), there are some people chatting
to really try to connect with someone.
Meghan Beattie and Pat Waldon, both 18, had one of those encounters
that went more in depth than just the usual "what's up?
a/s/l?" conversations. One summer afternoon, Meghan signed
onto a chatroom trying to kill some time and not expecting to
meet anyone special. Who would've known that in that Teens chatroom
that day she would met a guy who happened to have all the similar
interests and lived in the same town as her as well.
"He was just a sweet guy who said everything I was
thinking and vice versa," she reminisces. "It
was as if I met my soul mate - but at the time I didn't want
to get my hopes up because I've always heard of those horrible
things that happen to young girls who get caught up in online
relationships. There is a lot of elusiveness in meeting people
online, so I was hesitant."
Pat fondly remembers his first encounter with Meghan as if
it was yesterday. "I started talking to her because something
about her username allured me and so I sent her a message. I
wasn't expecting much, maybe just a conversation about the usual
things like music, weekend plans, TV, and etc."
After a few months of chatting to each other on AOL Instant
Messenger, things began to get serious and they decided to exchange
phone numbers. Both Meghan and Pat were cautious about revealing
such personal information especially Meghan because she had overprotective
parents.
"I knew they would flip if they found out that I gave
my number to someone I met online," she explains. "But
after much thinking, I decided to just call him instead because
I felt that this [relationship] was something special and that
there was a future for us."
The phone calls became more frequent and with each call, they
talked about their days, consoled each other with their problems
and just joked around.
"She just had a way of making me feel better
no
matter how down I was. She really understood me," Pat
says enthusiastically.
Usually there is room for suspicion about who exactly the
other person is on the other end of the conversation. It's just
human nature. When talking to someone, you have to see him or
her to know that they are who they really are and get that feedback
you can only get by talking face-to-face. But with endless reports
of teens and even young adults meeting with disaster rather than
the expectation of beautifully painted visions of love's first
encounter, there are risks that must be measured. An online relationship
is a risky game because there's a lot being put on the fine line
of trust between both parties. And in first face-to-face meetings,
it's wise to make sure oneself is protected by taking the proper
precautions such as meeting in public places and never alone.
That's exactly what the pair did. Both "dragged along
a friend to the designated meeting spot at the mall"
recalls the two.
"It was awkward at first because I had never done
something like this before and never thought I would,"
Pat reveals. "But after a few minutes to warm up'
to each other, we totally clicked and felt comfortable with each
other
."
"
And ever since that meeting, we've been happily
together," inputs Meghan.
Ever watch television late at night and see those dating services
ads plugging their websites that flash across the screen? Or
you might have seen those "online matchmaking" or "meet
other singles" banner advertisements on popular websites?
Ever been enticed, even slightly curious, to check them out even
if you've never considered those "online shams"?
Paula Frattini and Brad Lewis were both "lured"
in by these advertisements and, well, their curiosity got the
best of them. Paula, 19, and Brad, 21, had initially no intentions
on making a "love connection" from the dating service
they joined late 2001.
"It was just for fun, to see what kind of responses
I would get," Paula points out. "I just put
up my picture and made up a profile. That was just about it.
Then I decided to let fate take its course."
Brad joined because he wanted to meet someone - not necessarily
a love interest but just a new friend. Paula also wanted to meet
some new friends. After all, internet dating services don't always
help people meet new people with love in mind, some people make
significant friendships in the process.
Through daily emails and chatting, the two bonded and got
to know each other's quirks and how each other thought. This
was a momentous part of the relationship because there wasn't
"instant attraction", for Paula anyway. This "getting-to-know-each-other"
process, important in both online and conventional dating, played
a great role in getting the two together.
"The thing I think is the best plus of online relationships,"
Paula says. "is that the getting to know each other portion
of the dating ritual' is more emphasized in online dating
than in conventional dating. This is because you want to know
exactly what you're getting into
you have the ability to
decide for yourself if the person is right for you [by judging
from their personality] and if they aren't, then, you don't have
to deal with the rejection process face-to-face which is less
nerve-wracking in my opinion."
Paula and Brad took the giant leap and planned a meeting a
few weeks later. Paula was nervous but wanted to finally have
a face-to-face first acquaintance with the guy she had started
to have deep feelings for. Brad was up for it because ever since
he first saw a picture of Paula, there was something there and
long waited the moment to meet her.
"It was just a gut feeling you know? I can't explain
it, I just had to get to know her. Even when she tried to push
me away, I had to show her that she was a very special girl -
to me." Brad admits.
From that crucial day of the first meeting to this moment
while they are musing over how far their relationship has come,
the decision of making an "online encounter" with a
complete stranger has never been regretted.
"It was one of the best decisions of my life! I still
can't believe I found such a great guy from an online dating
service, but here I am so I guess you never know," gushes
Paula.
Both these couples have come a long way since their initial
judgement on online love. There are many critics out there who
believe internet love is a silly idea and that you can't truly
love someone you haven't met in real life. It is possible that
you can love someone without meeting them in friendship or in
a romantic relationship. In many internet relationships, couples
have not met but do feel love for that person both in friendship
and romantically. By taking the right steps in communication
and taking time to get to know one another more and more, a stronger
bond of love can occur than in a face to face relationship where
looks or thoughts of sex may interfere.
Contrary to popular belief, online love is true, is real and
is just as valid as a relationship that occurs in "the real
world". With internet romances, there are disadvantages
just like any other relationship. There are many advantages outweighing
the drawbacks. Dating someone physically could lead to possibilities
of pregnancy or exposure to STD's. Most physical relationships
tend to be geared around the person's outer appearance and consequently
the amount of communication is often at a minimum. Lust has a
tendency to take charge in a relationship with love and respect
being put aside.
Most physical relationships tend to be more geared around
what the person looks like rather than who the person is and
therefore communication is often at a minimum. Lust tends to
go before love and respect. Internet relationships are the other
way around. Emails and chats via the net force people to communicate.
People can find out who the other person is inside and out before
actually meeting them. This is an excellent stepping-stone for
the relationship and prepares the couple for what will come in
the future.
Making that connection with someone met online can eliminate
illusions of love caused by looks. Love sparked on the Internet
is just as pure, if not more pure, than normal. You get to know
and love the person for the person they are without the distraction
of looks. Obviously trust is a major issue in online romance
because no one can be certain if the person on the other end
of the conversation is not lying and trying to make something
of themselves that they are not. Yes, there are risks, we've
all heard about those stories of raving maniacs stalking prey
on the internet. You must always take precautions. There definitely
are risks to consider when jumping in such a situation and that
must be made clear.
To sum it up, Internet relationships work for some, but it's
NOT for everyone.
CRITIQUES OF ARTICLE BY
PROFESSIONAL JOURNALISTS
- Very catchy lead! Strong writing. Some opinion sneaked
into the end of the news item, so watch for that. Many new journalists, not knowing how to wrap up a news piece, rely on opinion, but
a good story will rest on its own facts.
- Excellent writing style...you certainly found your quot;voice".
Although it takes a while to get into focus, this is very well
done story with lots of interesting human dimension. One suggestion- include at the end a checklist readers could use
if they decide to try online meetings of this sort.
- Excellent article! Very timely subject as technology
becomes more a part of our lives every day. Excellent quotes
as well. The only area where I couldn't give you a higher mark
was for research/sources cited. I could tell in reading this
you did a lot of work putting this together but there was no
research or links cited in the article.
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